Acceptance

Would it hurt your feelings if I said that life was gettin easier?? That life is so freakin great that I don't even believe it!!!! They say that to mourn a loss you must go through the phases: Numbness, Denial and Isolation, Anger, Depression, and Acceptance. My hubby & I did exactly that...not neccessarily in that order or even at the same pace but we eventually got to acceptance. Funny thing is I know there will be times when we will go through exactly that same process for other things in Neesee's life. For example like when other people's kids are driving...or when the other mom's girls are dating...I'm trying not to future trip here but I know those are things that I will have to mourn and think about in the future......But for now for her initial diagnosis we have arrived at ACCEPTANCE. Yaaaayy!!! I have really seen the light...the positive side of everything. I have seen that it gets better...maybe not before it gets worse but it does get better. Life goes on and Life is freakin fantastic. I love my lil girl and all the energy and life that she brings into our lives. She is the most fabulous lil girl with a great sense of humor and the cutest faces ever! She brings so much happiness to my life I could burst!!Literally!
AHHHHH Life is GREAT! I feel whole again only this time with more umph! I never thought I would say this but I love having a child with special needs...I get a lil wierd when people look at me with sadness when I tell them about Neesee and all the "things" we have to work hard for...but in reality...I feel sad for them...I feel like they are missing out...NOT ME. Not us. I enjoy everything I get to do with Neesee. Of course I still feel sad at times about certain things but the awesome thing is that I can always see the good that comes out of every experience...some people may say that I got to where to this stage fast but I guess I had to. I'm the kinda person who would have died if I stayed in the dark any longer...so I had to arrive and I had to arrive fast. I don't like to feel sorry for myself...I like to make decisions and I did. I made to decision to live life and to live it as it was handed to me...And I'm happy to say I'm doing a pretty damn good job! I see it in all the things that Neesee does now. Neesee's not a "vegetable" and I don't see her as the child "who may never do something" I see her as the child that can do anything...just as everyone else believes their child can be anything...I to believe. I mean why not? Why do I have to demand less of my child just because she was born different. Nah...that's not me...so saying that let's talk about all the new things Neesee's doing...Can you believe that Neesee has 11 signs total now. My favorite one is "hat". Her version is two hands palms up as to say "what?" and taps them to her head...it is the cutest thing!!! She say's dada...daddy...da...ba...yeah... and "daaww" for dog...oh yeah and she says "yuck" too. how funny is that? She can honestly answer yes and no questions with a nod of her head and appropriately too.....also in addition of being able to blow kisses with her lips...she can now use her hand to blow a kiss your way...if you ask her to do a "mad face" she will give you one!!!! It's the greatest...Neesee's in the stage where you can get her to do a lot of things...so we're having a blast right now. Neesee is able to tell you where her head is as well...but if you just ask her "what's that?" well everything is a "daaawww" (dog) right now. Neesee is sittin unassisted now, crawling all over the place and even getting into tall kneeling. She will crawl to furniture and lift herself into tall kneeling to reach whatever she wants to get or atleast try to. Her reflux is a lil on the up and down right now...depends on the day I guess. That's the one thing I can definitely do without! Neesee if off oxygen in the day, still on it at night. And sleep is no problem for my lil munchkin...she sleeps anywhere from 10-12 hours a night with one nap in the day...This part is truly a blessing!!! Well speakin of sleep it's gettin late and I better get to sleep myself. Nite Nite.