AHHHHHH!!!!

To start: this week has been a chaotic week for me. I've been feeling a lil down and I'm stuck in one of those "why me" moments and I hate it. It really effs me up inside. I feel all anxious and worried all the time....like the walls are caving in on me and no one cares. Things really get to me some days. Neesee needs so much attention and yes I know babies need lots of attention but Neesee needs more....I'm the momma that can't watch her child crawl n play like the other children her age...instead we're doing therapy....I get to watch her get frustrated from being in my arms or on the floor but can't get to her toys on her own...When she won't stop crying and then I start crying saying "please tell me what's wrong so I can help you." When I know that she is frustrated because her body won't cooperate with her. When I work so hard and "other mommas" around me don't have to and get the rewards that I don't....like sitting, crawling, EATING, walking....the simple things.... Uggh..I can't stand those moms...the ones that don't have to do crap..

All the effen laundry I have to do bc everything has puke on it...all the time!....catching puke in bowls, catching puke in the seventy-two burb rags we own, constantly cleaning my daughter, washing her hair cause she puked in it, the ten outfits a day she goes through, her screaming from me cleaning her bc she hates for her face to be touched, cleaning the car seat numerous times, and just about everything else Neesee touches...oh where will it end?

The numerous times I have to put the oxygen back on Neesee's face bc she has ripped it off her face....the screaming again

I am confident that Neesee will crawl and walk and one day run but for now it hurts...It hurts really bad. To watch my child struggle daily. I just want us to be normal sometimes. I know GOD has his reasons and my child is a blessing and I wouldn't change her for the world...I love my lil Neesee....but I hate to see her struggle...I hate for my husband and I to struggle along with her....sometimes it seems like too much...

And after it's all done...this downer post I have to feel bad about bc well...I'm the momma that has it all together right

You hear that? It's me screaming.....